Purgatory

Purgatory is living in the realm of the mind. I see it so clearly now. Have you watched your own mind? It’s does not stop thinking! While you’re eating you’re thinking, while you’re sleeping (you’re dreaming) even while you’re having sex, you’re thinking! We’re never in the present moment where pure joy is. I’m constantly pushing myself to remain in that space of pure joy and bliss and so it’s interesting to see how my mind can be pulled out of that joy. Actually it’s a few archetypes trying to fulfill their own desires. But the joy I speak of is not happiness, it’s deeper than that. It’s actually un-describable as it’s just a vibrational feeling that resonates in every cell of your being. And the opposite of that feeling is one that is created by the thoughts of my mind. This tension of expectations on how to be, what to say, anxiety about the what if’s, the depression of making wrong choices etc Life keeps pulling me into the world and the world of others to show me how the true nature of who I am cannot serve the world and so I have to become something I am not to fit into the world just for acceptance by others. And so my 12 personas are born to deal with life’s challenges and such is the nature that I lose myself in this identity created to survive in this maya. Judgement, Pain and Suffering seem to be the foundation of the world outside of this joy. At the level of the ego, my feelings just about anything and everything drives my actions and those actions serve the purpose of life which is what it is meant to do. So 👍 on my ego doing its job! And so the conversations go deeper with me and Divine…what if you’ve achieved the egos desires, the big house, the car, the perfect lover, the white picket fence life with everything your hearts desires exactly as it is? That’s the perfection we all seek right? And by design you need to achieve that. The first half of your life should be in pursuit of living the best and fullest life your ego desires. But here’s where the break of communion with the Divine happens. Once you’ve achieved this how long before the ego gets bored and needs a new project or something new to entertain it! Can you see the cycle of this life and your mind! It never stops thinking even when you think you’re not thinking, you’re thinking! And so you miss the opportunities of awakening with each passing moment and you sleep deeper enjoying or not enjoying this dream called life. It’s been interesting to see how Divine keeps showing me this aspect of myself and the pull that life has and my own purgatory of my restless mind and how you can’t stop it, well you can with Maha Khala and retreating from the world (I now understand the life of the monks and sages), but really if you’re a mother, father, daughter, son….life of the householder is your path so how do you make the most of that in this lifetime….how do you live your best life ever….For me my best life is being exactly where I am right now as a Mother of Tigers and a student of the unknown sage leading a simple life of be-ing! When the time is right, I know deep down I have to fulfill my higher purpose by retreating, I have been stalling this because  ‘the world needs to know the truth and so it’s been a mission to get this out there’ but therein lies the secret mission = effort and so the realization to let go happened in a split second of that awareness of my attachment. A simple attachment of wanting to help others became the root cause of my own purgatory created by myself! How freakin ridiculously funny that is. No! It’s frustrating 🤪 and so my morning silent whispers  comes to the conclusion that the most important purpose of my life is to focus on me! I’ve been so consumed by the need to help others that I’ve actually become a hypocrite and ignored my own journey…so self reflection time…the job is done, Maha Khala is available to anyone and everyone that wants it…we have a great team taking this to the world so now I can just let go and be again….my last piece of advice to myself …the purpose of life is to allow everyone to absolutely move towards living their own best life first before even thinking of awakening and yes applying tools like understanding life with TPT, practicing Maha Khala, Pranayama, Meditation all just become part of our mental wellbeing and life becomes easier because there’s more alignment of the archetypes. To jump straight into awakening of the soul will not work if you haven’t accomplished your hearts desires….that’s part of everyone’s journey that needs to be fulfilled before we’re ready for the next half of our life. And what a magnificent life it can be. The garden of eden in Divines playground of experiencing the magic of living life for truly what it is. Living! The difference is just Living with Awareness or Living in the Trance 💜🙏😊 

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