Present Moment

So here’s what got me to really understand karma and make this my life purpose mission….my first relationship was at 15 and we were together for 9 and a half years before I lost him in an accident. My home life although great was a bit of a catch 22 where I had a challenging mother that kept competing with me (or so it felt) because she would always put me down with others….calling me names like stubborn and ‘ice cream’ etc in front of friends and family…..needless to say if the person you most wanted to be proud of you tells you you’re not good enough, well then you start believing in it…. which was the start of my own sense of self rejection at a very early age. So I kept feeling not good enough for anything or anyone and started learning how to reject life at a very early age….one can even say I mastered the technique of rejection before getting rejected….So here was how Divine was protecting me or karma rather guiding me on my journey….If it was not for my relationship I probably would have taken my own life at an early age or been self destructive….instead I suppressed emotions became absolutely independent and resilient which resulted in my endometriosis….now during this process three karmic forces of learnings was happening…that of death and the craving to understand this cycle of life and death more …I wasn’t afraid of death, my loss just made me realise that life was not the answer, that it is in fact temporary and just an illusion and that death, for me, was the real realm I needed to understand my existence but just didn’t know how to so I moved all that energy into my new career which I became great at….a footwear designer and product manager until I met Tjaart 😊and my second learning was actually in this self rejection because the more I saw my ego in what people didn’t like about me or couldn’t accept me for….the more I moved within in search for a higher understanding of what the purpose of all of this was if death was the ultimate anyways….and so this lingered in my hearts desires for over 6 years as I became great at my worldly endeavors and yet not satisfied fully in my achievements as a being until six years later when doing my very first Kriya with Tjaart and having the blessings from my masters in experiencing who this entity was and what the true self really is. This samadhi experience was all I needed as affirmation that life is truly the maya that masters claim and that consciousness is all that only exists. When you experience something like that it leaves you gob smacked for days and then when you finally come around to some senses again the ego wants to claim this experience and the first thing it wants to do it’s to show others how to experience the same. Being and Empath Virgo one can understand why I feel it my higher purpose to share this knowledge and techniques with others to alleviate their own pain and suffering…..But the last lesson that karma is always pushing me towards is my relentless pursuit on this spiritual journey towards awakening of this consciousness and not getting caught up in my ego and it’s desires to help others because that in itself can be a trap….for those who knock on the door I shall open….so this was and still is an amazing journey and again Karma is so miss understood…more to come on how my past lives have influenced this but when you can reflect objectively on everything situation and how that has guided you closer to finding the real self then life truly becomes a magical journey of hide and seek because in every situation, in every word spoke or in every interaction you’re looking for the clues to wake up and yes absolutely you will seem unpredictable and irrational and inconsistent to the outside world but when you’re living from the present moment none of that holds any importance just the pursuit for truth 💜🙏

Leave a Reply